The Internets Can Make Even St. John’s Fans Delusional

Internets

I’m not going to be breaking any news with this, but sometimes the Internets can make normal people say or do stupid things. Whether it is folks for some reason thinking racism is okay if you’re saying it on Twitter or biased showing through to the point of stupidity, these Internets are a crazy place to roam around.

So, imagine my lack of surprise as I was looking for some college hoops reading material this morning. Naturally I found some normal, sane articles written by folks who seemed to know what they were talking about. However, I soon found myself in what is known as the Internets wormhole. It’s some form of situation where you click a link in an article and then find yourself 29034892 websites away from where you started.

In this wormhole, mind you, is where I found this wonderfully written piece of homerism:

"st johns wins the big east, jakarr sampson and orlando sanchez are both lottery picks ya heard it here first!"

As you can probably tell that delightfully worded sentence was found on a message board. So it should go without saying that it isn’t as if a media member was making some humorous claim or anything. What it does do, however, is highlight certain fans’ mind-boggling approach to life.

If Orlando Sanchez was a lottery pick type of talent I think it would be a sane assumption to think he would have declared for the NBA Draft a few years ago. You know, instead of being in the limbo known as the NCAA eligibility process. Sanchez isn’t a teenager or anything. Thinking that he is going to be a lottery pick is more wishful thinking than it is realistic.

I can go on and on as to why Sanchez going in the lottery is as likely as Christina Ricci going on a date with me, but using logic in an attempt to make that fan understand why what he said was not even remotely true would prove to be a futile process.

The other two points the “writer” was trying to make are fairly sane. I am sure he could come up with valid stats and evidence to back up such claims.

There is something way more important that should be taken from that posting, though. No, not if he was right or wrong or if he was actually in complete control of his mental functions at the time of his post. It is the fact that we heard it there first! From that guy! Classic Internets stuff, really.

Thank goodness. I am not sure what I was going to do without this guy letting me know those precious pieces of knowledge.

Sadly — and yes, I realize this — I just trolled a random fan.

But Orlando Sanchez to the lottery and beyond!!!!!!!!!!

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Joseph is the editor of Storm The Paint. Him, Twitter @JosephNardone